Revenge On Paper Read online

Revenge On Paper

  by Kennie Kayoz

  Copyright 2013 Coyotes Publishing

  Drinking / Humping / Smoking

  I be drinkin the dew that has my mind all fizzy.

  When my rhymes be dropped people be actin all prissy.

  The green drink is what does it for me.

  A full bottle fuels the energy inside that gets me free.

  We be humpin like two jack rabbits.

  But if you put us together on the same page you'd think we should be in straight

  jackets.

  The minds all fucked up but we complement each other.

  The broken leg is a blessing more than a bother.

  She be smokin, my meat.

  I'd be kissin her from her head to her feet.

  The sensual sensation.

  Balances out the equation.

  - Kennie Kayoz -

  Reminiscing

  Tomorrow I shall sit, with the photo albums looking at memories past.

  Wishing that things haven't changed as much as they did an makin my life change so

  fast.

  I'll look back on the days when I was young, and a quiet boy.

  It seems as if nothing has changed as I still bring along one of my toys.

  But to me they aren't just a toy they are a comfort.

  To help make me feel better in hopes of finding some sort of comfort in my life.

  I can't help but to thank the girl who one day shall be my future wife.

  She's been there for me through everything and is just like me in so many ways.

  Deep down she knows how I feel and who I am so she accepts me for me.

  Not having to be anything except me around her, different at times but true in the

  heart.

  So many similarities in our pasts, from our child hood to high school horrors.

  Now at times we write about skanks and whores.

  Letting our the frustrations that bring forth in our lives.

  Stabbing at problems with written words instead of knives.

  I still can't believe that this is the life that I'm living and that I'm 25 and

  fatherless.

  Had my first birthday without my Dad and it's something I never really wanted to

  do.

  Instead of me being happy and celebratory I was grey an blue.

  - Kennie Kayoz -

  Scare

  As of late I've been doing things out of normal for what is myself.

  October 10th, I had a cooler before 9am when I don't even drink.

  After that I slept for various hours an when I woke up I couldn't help but to

  think.

  What is really going on here what's going on in my mind.

  Each day I tell people that "I'm Fine"

  Is that really how I feel or am I just passing my pain off for others to leave me

  be.

  I never knew what to think of what I did don't you see.

  I'll no doubt start to scare you too if you knew me and I started to do things

  outta the blue.

  Perhaps one day I'll find the right prescription for how I'm feeling.

  Which'll make me feel better on a day to day basis an allow some kinda healing.

  Everything I do at times tends to scare people, myself is becoming included with

  that.

  Perhaps I'm more stressed than what I really let onto.

  Maybe I really am grey an blue.

  Whats next for me to do for me to scare myself.

  It could be anything and knowing me it'll just continue to get worse.

  I've always hated causing people stress.

  But who am I to really ignore the rest.

  - Kennie Kayoz

  Next Time

  So you had to put my name in brackets, or not at all.

  Next time just don't even mention me, breathe my name or anything at all.

  As far as I'm concerned you don't have to mention me or anything about what I do.

  I knew before you took off you disliked me.

  It wasn't that hard to find out specially when you had to go out of your way to say

  anything.

  But yet I didn't seem to mind back then.

  As for congrats or any shit like that, you got another thing coming.

  As if you'll mind since it won't keep you wondering.

  Trying to be a nice guy rather than my usual dickhead self.

  You chose what you done so now I chose to run my mouth.

  Just don't bother mentioning me in anyway shape or form.

  I'm not a concern to you so keep'em lips from flappin.

  Since it'll be your mouth I be slappin.

  Slappin that shit shut with a staple through ya lips.

  - Kennie Kayoz -

  I Hate Myself

  There you go it's spelled out as clear as the fucking day.

  Let the sun shine down on your bitch fucking ass and say hooray.

  I don't fucking care since because of you I hate my fucking self.

  Making me do everything that you want me to do.

  Just because you know how much I am a fucking failure.

  You know just how bad I fucking suck at everything I attempt.

  When I dropped out you got pissed at me wishing that I didn't.

  Wishing that you could force me to go back.

  Now that you have my neck in a noose I'm fucking forced to listen agian.

  Why do I even put up with this shit, the door is right there.

  It's unlocked calling me to go that way.

  Just let me leave, with no good byes.

  Let me vanish from the worlds eyes.

  I can't stand the fact that all of you want nothing more from me.

  All of you want me to be something that I don't want to be.

  I'm trying to be there for someone who I care deeply for.

  But yet I can't do anything right so you have to choose my path an my door.

  Why do I even bother to attempt anything in life all your going to do is slap me

  back.

  Tell me I'm wrong treat me like a dog and tell me to turn around and go back.

  I now hate myself, I fucking hate myself.

  I wish nothing more than to be left alone.

  Let me be myself, let me do what I want no matter where I choose to roam.

  I can never think for myself again because I know that is wrong.

  No matter what I try I might as well give up.

  I might as well tape my fucking mouth shut.

  I can never do anything that I want to do because you won't let me.

  I can never do anything that is ment to be me cause you won't see.

  Why I choose to do certain things all you choose is for me to follow the dog

  treats.

  Letting myself get depressed so fucking depressed that I admit defeat.

  If I do that then I don't want to remember that day.

  I don't even want to be living to hear you say.

  Anything more than about you wanting to run my life.

  Now what's next do you want to choose who should be my wife.

  Well it won't be happening because I won't let it.

  Since it's my life and if I have to I shall quit.

  - Kennie Kayoz -

  Find Yourself

  I'm sorry that all you see is what I'll always amount to be.

  An that what you see before you is exactly what you see in me.

  Everything has gotten me feeling so small.

  Seems like I'm walking on cracks and everyone is awaiting me to fall.

  Me an KJ are two different people.

  Even though the line between us are really narrow.

  An yet at
times the only thing we have in common are our sorrow.

  I'm sorry that we had to do this to get things off our chests.

  But if you haven't understood this yet then you really wouldn't understand the

  rest.

  As you may have already figured out.

  Kennie an I have been blown the fuck on out.

  Of Proportion.

  To make our minds seem that we have that much distortion.

  Not knowing what there is left to give.

  Sometimes pondering if we really have anything to live.

  We're sorry that all you can see is what I'll always amount to be.

  An that what you see before you is exactly what you see in me.

  We're nothing much to really look at.

  If there is a empty corner then thats where we'll be sat.

  Looking for someone who understands us.

  All this anger built up inside just wants to make us cuss.

  We're sorry that all you can see is what I'll always amount to be.

  An that what you see before you is exactly what you see in me.

  - Kennie Kayoz & KJ Abyzz -

  Total Depression

  It's shortly after 2 in the mornin.

  I don't know what to do, it's my site I want to be workin

  On, is somethin I do constantly.

  My sites are my life an always will be.

  I don't want to leave till she went in for surgery.

  So I can be there, as I told her from minute one.

  Even though I'm the one frowned upon the unknown son.

  It's driven me mental.

  I try to drown myself in other things to make me happy.

  But nothing seems to work, as it just becomes sappy.

  Tryin to stick.

  With somethin thick.

  In hopes of findin happiness.

  But sadness is what I always find.

  It's like happiness left Kennie behind.

  Never know what it is.

  Never seen it any day.

  But I know depression, just press play.

  It'll show it's way into my life.

  I'd rather be up all night an sleep all day.

  To drown out the world an enjoy the silence.

  - Kennie -

  Untitled

  Nobody can tell me my style isn't healthy.

  It have yet to make me wealthy.

  But I still be strugglin like anythin else.

  You don't see what I write.

  To me clear as day, to you it's out of sight.

  Not understandin I write how I feel.

  It's my life it really is the real deal.

  Never lookin to hold anythin back.

  Have had tears roll down faces, never lookd back.

  I can't understand why people just ignore me.

  Millions of people here not to listen to me.

  I can never look at the bright side.

  I've been in the dark for too long.

  Everythin is two shades, dark an darker.

  The light don't exsist in my world.

  But greed is a constant emotion.

  I'll be the one workin the dead end job with no promotion.

  I'm the one stuck behind in life.

  Sometimes I just want to be left alone.

  So I sit at home an disconnect my phone.

  You can't reach me.

  No teacher could even teach me.

  - Kennie -

  Untitled #2

  Always lookin at the cool kids thinkin.

  "Damn that should be me"

  But it will never be, my mind is never free.

  If I could would I be in a different spot.

  Would I be better off if I died everyday.

  Have no memory of the past.

  Fuck the world, it'll be over quick.

  If you ain't with me then suck my dick.

  I can't stand it an you better know.

  I'm the loner on the street.

  Got all the rhymes an not enough beats.

  Never knowin what to do, don't know where 2 go.

  I can't stand this shit, I want a different life.

  I can't even listen to the voices in my head.

  They've gotten so quiet they must be dead.

  - Kennie -

  The Hospital

  So here I sit two days before my birthday.

  Pen in hand, thoughts of Crystal an My Dad in my mind.

  Got a cappicino on the table to the right.

  Crystal isn't even in sight.

  My mind has been running rampid with thoughts.

  Not knowin if I'll be able to listen to a CD that I brought.

  Can't see her till close to an hour.

  I know she got thoughts that are sour.

  I wanted her to walk for my birthday.

  I have the feeling my Dad had been lookin out for me today.

  Traffic lights changed from red to green.

  It all happened right before my eyes.

  Three in a row, it was truly a surprise.

  Makin me think of my dad.

  Even though on the inside it made me sad.

  I know it means alot to her that I'm here.

  It truly shows her that I'm sincere.

  - Kennie -

  Early Start / Long Day

  We got to bed before midnight.

  Getting me to sleep was a constant fight.

  I wasn't tired at all.

  But I know that's going to be my downfall.

  For now I'm alright, the day is only young.

  To sleep is going to be my song.

  As it wouldn't surprise me if I fell asleep.

  Here in the cafeteria of the hospital.

  Since it's so boring, but I'm hopin to stay awake.

  Just incase something bad happens I'll beed to be

  Able to understand everythin without over reactin.

  - Kennie -

  Paranoid

  It's rainin outside which has me worried.

  That things aren't going to go so well an will have me scurry.

  To a phone to call her mom.

  Dropping news that shes not done.

  Not too much info she don't need to stress.

  They're be plenty of that going on with me.

  The rain has thoughts of sadness which has be concernd.

  Part of me is thinking the rain is a sign.

  That today is going to be a real tough time.

  Mentally & Physically, since I know that'll have me.

  Worked up enough to cause major stress don't you see.

  I just hope that the rain is just that.

  Hopin it's nothin as a sign of things to come.

  Since it took me 24years to find this special someone.

  Almost a year we've been together.

  Usually I'm not like this till a call from my brother

  Dec 20/05

  Father was killed in a car accident.

  My life changed instantly right before my eyes.

  - Kennie -

  12/20/05

  I'll never forget that day, it started off just like any other.

  Till my roommate knockd on my door an handed me the phone an told me it was my

  brother.

  He sounded serious, when he told me to come home.

  When I asked why "Dad was killed in a car accident" my mom will forever be alone.

  The house was so dark an gloomy when I walked in the front door.

  I didn't want to face the reality that layed ahead of me.

  I never wanted to believe what was going on.

  My girlfriend showed up, I took her away from my mom an dropped the news.

  She dropped tears to show her blues.

  She kinda knew somethin was wrong when she entered the house.

  She works just a few minutes from the accident an passed it on her way over.

  The life that I once knew is now over.

  I'm now unemployed, an searchin.

 
Searchin for answers to find out what all happened.

  I continue to struggle with what happened.

  I want to see the truck again in my parents driveway, an this be a bad dream.

  I want to wake up an everythin be ok.

  I'm worried that I won't beable to pick up the peices of my life.

  I'm a total wreck for goin on car trips now, nervous more than words can describe.

  The only words that I could possibly end this with is:

  "Why does daddy have to die ?, why ?"

  - Kennie Kayoz -

  2 Most Dangerous

  The two most dangerous words in the poetic world.

  Is nothing other than Kennie Kayoz, so don't go drowning your sorrows.

  With the acid tongue in which I posess.

  Will be sure to take me to a much highetend success.

  Unlike anyone has ever seen.

  Yet in this poetic world that needs a gleam.

  Of hope in which to get noticed by the rest.

  So that we all can gain cash from much needed success.

  To quit ones job is what we all no doubt want.

  Enjoyin the fact we made bank off a talent, what more is there to flaunt.

  Perhaps me alongside you if your a female.

  But if your not than you'd have another thing.

  Kinda like me with the Coyote charm round my neck another words some bling bling.

  But if you pass up any help than it's a safe bet.

  That I'll be rollin out with my dollars an a smile on my face that'll make all the

  females wet.

  So be warned as the two most dangerous words in the poetic world is Kennie Kayoz.

  Either your with me or I'll make sure you'll get blown the fuck off.

  - Kennie Kayoz -

  Angel In Her Eyes

  She prayed that someone would come save her son.

  Now that you haven't only saved me but many hearts have been won.

  Your the answer to her an my prayers.