Emotional Outlet Read online

Shane Diamond is the one you heard.

  Knowing that he's the one whose just melting the world with the hot words.

  Firing off the words and poppin off his issues all in one without using the sword.

  Pass me a drink.

  An I'll give you a rhyme that'll make you think.

  Hypnotical unlike anythin you have ever read.

  At which point you can consider that pen dead.

  I made it bleed to get my words out.

  It's nothing for me to kill of pens, make them bleed for my life.

  In there death others learn what's on my mind.

  Kennie Kayoz

  The Unwanted Feeling

  No matter where I go I seem to get the feeling that nobody wants me around.

  They claim they're all happy an laughin but I see through that to the true frown.

  Why is it that they just dont' tell me that they don't want me around I already know.

  It's not like it's a big secret to me, it's not like it'd have an affect on me, I guess it's sorrow.

  Thinking it's going to have a bigger impact on me in my syposid young life.

  Not knowing what to do when I feel unwanted since the feeling seems to be everywhere.

  It drove me so fucking nuts it caused me to shave my hair.

  Givin me the ability to get up and out in a hurry.

  Without having to give a fucking worry.

  About what was said or what I did.

  It'd probably be best for them to be rid.

  Of me so that they wouldn't have to worry.

  About someone like me so that they wouldn't have a blemish on there personal story.

  I guess I'll just always have this feeling of being unwanted no matter where I go.

  I guess I might as well try to make myself get use to it.

  Kennie Kayoz

  The Blackness...

  It's the blackness that consumes me.

  It's the blackness that assumes me.

  People thinking that what they see before themselves is something they know.

  The blackness continues to grow upon me just like the darkness continues to swim in hell.

  Pouring into hell quicker than tears pouring out of someones face.

  Not knowing that what they've done is a total disgrace.

  To the world around them however they feel as if things are just fine.

  As they continue to pour themselves another glass of wine.

  Just one more for the road it'll do me no harm I feel good.

  You won't be when your as stiff as wood.

  Knowing they have to scrape your body off the concrete

  With all your friends saying “Remember him, he was really neat”

  Never know when your time is going to stop.

  Always whoring yourself out for just one more cock.

  You wish you would have chose one less.

  Right now you just made a choice.

  To take the virus known as AIDS.

  From one and he passed it onto another.

  It's all your fault even though to him it was no bother.

  Passing of another disease is killing off the population slowly.

  Forever you shall wish you would have chose someone different.

  But you never seen it coming just like many.

  Nobody sees it until it's too late.

  When it's too late then you'll be irrate.

  Wishing you had that choice back again.

  But you don't, because the darkness has consumed you.

  Kennie Kayoz

  The Forced Feeling.

  It seems anywhere I go I'm being forced to do something I don't want.

  They all claim different things but they all want me to do something to make me better.

  Little do they know that it's killing me on the inside anytime it's brought up.

  Not realizing that, they continue to ask me to do so.

  But there askings change to them forcing me more and more.

  Never know what's next to be in store.

  If I can't do it I can't talk normally and probably can't eat either.

  They would never understand why I don't want to.

  Sometimes no matter how much I explain they don't care.

  They want nothing more than to have the power over me to crumble.

  Knowing that once I had ahold of my life then I fumbled.

  Wanting to scream that I need help in there eyes.

  But at times I just want to leave.

  Not wanting to believe.

  Making this so called family get on without me.

  Each night I feel like praying to be taken away.

  Off to another land is what I would like so that I wouldn't have to worry.

  About the shit that goes on with it.

  When things go back to “normal” will things really be any different.

  I doubt it, this shit will still go on because we'll never beable to get things back.

  I never wanted to see this day but it seems that everyone is coming down on me.

  I don't want anything to do with a world like this.

  Kennie Kayoz

  Feeling Unwanted

  Why is it that whenever I go back to the place that claims it's my home I feel unwanted.

  Feel like I'm more loved elsewhere but I'm not.

  I'm always being pushed out of one house and not into another.

  I always feel as if nobody truly wants me around.

  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel like I'm ment to be.

  Or will I continue to feel this way even after me an Jessica are moved in together.

  Or will nothing seem like home to me.

  Will everything have the feeling of wanting to push me out.

  Will things ever change will I ever feel wanted in a house.

  Or should I just realize that I'm stuck in a cage like a mouse.

  Always feeling like I'm pushed out, of one since it's not where I should be.

  Always looking for spots to hide when the voices get angered.

  Always looking for a spot to cry when the anger gets turned toward me.

  Is this really the life that is here for me, can't it really be changed..

  Sometimes I think that it can't be changed no matter what.

  It's like wanting to run away and never come back.

  Never looking back at what it was.

  Never knowing what to say or wanting to put life on pause.

  But part of me is quickly realizing that I'm here for nothing more than to be shit on.

  Constantly over and over as life goes on.

  Kennie Kayoz

  Feeling Of Failure

  Everytime I see hits on my counter I always think that nobody is really coming to the site for my writing.

  I know they're just coming for other reasons to get information about Our Pets or Tools that we speak of.

  But no matter how hard I try no matter how hard I struggle it's always something different.

  I have many talents and to help one is a talent that I'm good at.

  But to help myself achive something that I have been dreaming of, is something I am not.

  It's something that I feel that I'm failing if it was my job it would put me into the mud.

  It would put me onto the streets with nothing for me or my family.

  I feel as if nothing is working it's way in my favor and I hope that something changes.

  It is the winds of change that I continue to hope to blow my way.

  To take all the hits that have brought into the site and bring back the hits for what is mine.

  The hits to help us get our writing reconized.

  In hopes of getting things up in the air quicker and quicker.

  Why is it that the feeling of us failing is forever looming amongst us.

  Why is it that when ever we choose to adapt something and feel good about it.

  It always fails, it never takes off the way we think in our minds.

  The fact
that what we think is something that we know doesn't exsist.

  I never know what to do, I never know where to turn.

  How is it possible for the dream of one family to go up in smoke.

  To allow us to choke.

  How is it that we constantly feel failure.

  Kennie Kayoz

  Confusion

  Why does someone like me always get so confused.

  Never know where to turn or which direction to take.

  I try things but I always seem to fall in the same pit.

  I look for direction but I never get anything except for shit.

  I try everything I can possibly think of to allow myself the freedom of what I want to do.

  But it seems that it just sinks me down lower, deeper even blue.

  I haven't decided what I really want to do with my life.

  I have chosen the one who I want as my wife.

  But what to spend my life doing is something that'll remain a mystery.

  It seems that everything I try I come down a failure don't you see.

  I try hard to do what I do and make myself known.

  Although as far as I'm concerned I won't be thrown.

  Beyond my dreams what they maybe at that time.

  Even though at times my poetry doesn't rhyme.

  I have tried everything under the son in order to keep.

  Myself from getting down in a heap.

  Never thinking that I have gave up my last drop.

  Even though at times I feel as if all I do is flop.

  Where do I turn when I get to this point in my life.

  Am I the one whose holding back my wife.

  Or do I continue to sit here and look at the fact that I'm just a confused man.

  Living in the shell of another broken man.

  Piece by piece I should continue to find.

  That through my whole life I shall remain blind.

  Kennie Kayoz